Nov. 24, 1998

John Heller

Dear John,

I didn’t get to hear your last portion of the recent Tulsa conference, and had asked Vic to get the tape for me, as well as copies of the rest of your sharing there. On the tape, I heard your comments about “Christ’s going to hell” after the crucifixion, and that you do not believe it. Certainly, I am a baby as to my study, or understanding of the Word, but I’m writing you this for further clarification. I have enjoyed immensely your gift from the Lord to verbalize and share the illumination He has placed on your heart, so, certainly this is not a challenge of what you shared, but for my stimulation and study.

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To my friends,

I have had a trying week thus far—and in the process have “felt a little sorry for myself”, which is best revealed by that second half of the word above—which is “self”. In the process, I have gotten even fuller of “self” than I usually am—which is so overwhelming even when I’m “in my normalcy of self”. I’ve then seen a tremendous unrest and an expression of instant anger on several occasions this past 3 days—which is undeniable “self”. My spirit has been very disturbed—but in me, anger feeds upon itself, and takes it to even a higher intensity, and keeps it even nearer to the surface. I’ve prayed about it all week, but my spirit has remained so troubled. Then just this morning, after telling a friend of mine of the past few days—in full dress of my worldly self-centeredness, I went to my scripture reading, and this is the result:

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